Chapter 4: Starvation

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Be kind to one another

After the intense exercise and release during the rampage mode, I felt completely drained of energy, and my stomach was particularly hungry and acidic. Supporting my legs, which were sore and numb, I picked up my cane and slowly walked over to the now motionless mother and daughter, letting out a faint sigh.

I had previously crawled out from a floating corpse on the shore, and the dampness all over my body was quite uncomfortable. Although I have come back to life, who knows if this will lead to illness in the future

Suddenly, the shouts rising and falling in the ruins of the village were like a disturbed hornet's nest

I was momentarily stunned, staring at the rider who suddenly appeared in front of me. I crashed headlong into the foul-smelling belly of the horse, only to be forcefully rebounded. The sudden loss of strength caused me to sit down abruptly, gasping for breath, with my lower limbs aching so much that I almost didn't want to get up.

Relying on certain instinctive memories that linger in the body, it is quite a challenge to start a fire in the clumsy manner by the woods on the shore, while gently moving my limbs and struggling to dry my body and clothes.

What ... ...

Just take me... as long as you provide me with something to eat...

Then, more roars and howls approached me, not just a few individuals, but an entire gang that had taken up residence here. They emerged from every corner like a disturbed anthill, rushing towards me. Thus, I had no choice but to take advantage of the crowd of people who were being knocked over and trampled, and I fled at a frantic pace.

Watching him roll his eyes and the crimson splatter at the back of his head, I thought, another one knocked out. The only one left is a limping man, his face filled with terror as he looks at me. He was also the leader who assaulted that mother and daughter.

The closer one gets to them

Once again, a temporarily incapacitated individual, I bent down and took a powerful step forward, using my left shoulder to ram into the abdomen of another dazed man, lifting him up and then crashing him against the earthen wall. Instantly, a foul-smelling vomit erupted, splattering onto my hair.

When the first face splattered with saliva appeared around the corner, my body reacted as if it had been trained a thousand times, with my hands instinctively thrusting forward, driving the tip of the staff's blade into the face of the person at the front. He couldn't help but scream, a piece of bloody flesh torn away, and I slightly retracted the staff's head, then, taking advantage of the momentum, I leaped over his hunched back, stabbing fiercely into another person's shoulder. Amidst the cries of pain, he toppled to the side.

After all, this is not the kind of thin tiles that can be easily broken by hand in later generations, but rather thick kiln-fired ceramic tiles, which are not much different from solid bricks

Did it to him

I vaguely discovered that the mother and daughter who had just attempted to sell themselves to me were now being trampled underfoot by someone. I could even hear the fragile cracking sounds of their thin bodies being kicked and beaten, as various pitifully thin vomit filled the ground and walls.

Well, that's not right, there is one more.

This change startled others, causing their bodies to instinctively freeze. Then, several stones came flying towards me, barely missing my body before crashing to the ground, and I couldn't help but break out in a cold sweat

After I forcefully broke free, she pulled my daughter and crawled a few steps before kneeling in front of me

Dare to violate the regulations of the group leader

How could one secretly hoard money

Or rather, they are no different from the walking dead, that kind of despairing and suffocating numbness cannot be portrayed by the well-fed and overly polished extras in domestic films and television.

I then walked around the ruins of this village, disappointed to find no residents or normal businesses. All I encountered were the shadows of crumbling walls, with vague and ambiguous gazes that sent a chill down my spine, prompting me to quicken my pace to leave this place

Then... although I was mentally prepared, I still couldn't help but be shocked by the scene before me. On the not-so-spacious dirt road, there was an almost overwhelming crowd of people, their bodies emaciated and their appearances gaunt, with deep-set eyes, almost making me think I had stumbled into a post-apocalyptic scene reminiscent of something like The Walking Dead.

Then, with a dull thud, it struck the back of one person's head. He let out a howl, collapsing to the ground, clutching his head like a shrimp, and then rolled in pain, with faint traces of blood flowing from between his fingers.

The skin tightly wrapped around the cheeks makes malnourished children appear wrinkled like the elderly, with only their exceptionally large eyes, protruding due to sunken eye sockets, filled with a sense of helplessness, sorrow, despair, and numbness.

He opened his mouth, which was filled with black, gray matter and saliva, waving his arms, seemingly trying to say something to me in a state of panic

Lumps covered in dust and mud are eagerly snatched and brought to the mouth, or are violently punched and kicked out from someone else's mouth, bloodily dug out again

Heaven shows pity

As I turned into the remaining streets of the village, I was suddenly tripped heavily by something underfoot. I could hear a low, mournful cry, and there lay a woman curled up on the ground, alongside her daughter who sat dazed on the ground. The vacant expression in their eyes made my lips twitch slightly.

However, I am not in a much better state, looking disheveled and unkempt, wrapped up like a wild person, blending into this slowly moving crowd on the main road, a throng of ragged, dirty individuals, which actually does not stand out much.

There are those who collapse on the road while vomiting, unable to rise again. They indiscriminately consume whatever dried fruits they can find, which can only provide a false sense of satisfaction to their stomachs, and often prove harmful. As their bodies react violently, remnants of grass, leaves, and even clumps of fine soil, tinged with the color of their innards, are gradually expelled, followed by convulsions that render them cold and stiff.

Do you want more food... just follow me and there will be more...

They lay like corpses, either sitting or lying among the broken walls and rubble, and only by getting very close can one slightly perceive the fact that they are still alive from the rising and falling of their chests

Then, regardless of whether she understood or not, the woman seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and became still. This was her final moment of brilliance, and thus she did not notice her daughter, who was protected beneath her, already pale and purple in the face, having stopped breathing.

One of them, large in size, stared at the stick I was holding, following me at a distance with ill intentions, only to turn back in disappointment after a while, seeking a new target. This is what is meant by a nation on the brink of collapse, where even beasts can brazenly roam the streets and prey on people in chaotic times

After dawn, I continued to walk at the most energy-efficient pace while guessing my location in relation to the surroundings.

Then I discovered that not far behind me, a small group of people had inexplicably followed me. Some were running while gnawing on black lumps, glaring fiercely at what others were holding. Their expressions as they looked at me were somewhat complex

Because this is an era where wild beasts frequently roam, even on the busy roads flanked by people

She was smiling foolishly in a flattering manner while forcefully tearing off the rags wrapped around the child, revealing the emaciated body beneath, and then pushed the child into my arms

The woman's eyelids fluttered as she looked at me with a pleading expression. I forced a smile and nodded, saying, "She is fine."

In my roar, I could only see the last person, fleeing in a panic down the long street, their figure disappearing into the distance

I dragged them to a place and buried them under rubble; this was the last thing I could do for those whom I met by chance.

Unfortunately, in a fit of rage, I grabbed a stone and struck it against his head, clearly hearing the sound of his cheek and jaw shattering. Several bright red broken teeth, accompanied by splashes of blood, erupted forth. With one or two blows, his head caved in like an egg, collapsing to one side like a tattered scarecrow, clearly unable to survive.

Having observed the position of the sun and the growth of the leaves, it seems that the current season is at the transition between summer and autumn. However, in the shaded areas of the forest, there is already a noticeable chill.

The various strange accents of pleas assault my eardrums and challenge the worldview constructed by modern morality, after all, viewing images in front of a computer and witnessing them up close are two entirely different matters

Many people are so hungry that they lack even the strength to speak. Only when they collapse from exhaustion and are slowly trampled by those behind them do they emit a few faint groans.

A sense of sorrow and restlessness permeated my entire being, transforming the anger and disgust I previously felt into an indescribable emptiness and melancholy.

A gaunt woman was forcefully pushing a gender-ambiguous child, her voice hoarse and strident as she shouted with all her might

Suddenly, I heard the sound of hooves behind me, and a massive figure abruptly passed by me

Yet I cannot help but recall the moment in a humid tropical rainforest, where a large lizard was being roasted. How many secrets are hidden within this body and memory of mine

From time to time, one can see several animals, uncertain whether they are wolves or dogs, standing unperturbed in front of a corpse that has been gnawed to pieces on the roadside. With their round, bulging bellies, they lick the remnants on their lips, using their blood-red eyes to assess the next potential target

However, it is evident that matters are not so easily concluded

Only the road remains, littered with rubble and ruins destroyed by war, and overshadowed by a dark mass of disheveled refugees, resembling crows. Even the remnants of walls left charred by fire have been stripped away by people, used as fuel or as part of some makeshift shelter, which appears to have existed for a considerable period of time

I slowly walked around the corner, picked up a piece of blue brick, and threw it at a man who was still crawling and had not yet lost consciousness. Hmm, I missed. I picked up another piece and threw it again, hitting his shoulder. Again... until the sound of his cries completely disappeared into the large pool of blood beneath him

Then my steps quickened, as if I were fleeing, leaving all of this behind. I have seen enough along this journey.

Vent anger on behalf of the second child

Releasing one hand, he pulled down a large bag of wood ash that had been placed on the windowsill and splashed it over, instantly blinding several people, causing a torrent of tears and relentless coughing.

The items piled in baskets on the vehicle were lifted to the roadside and then scattered into the crowd like raindrops, but they were each grayish-black lumps that fell to the dust with a hard thud. These soulless beings seemed to come to life in an instant, snarling and pushing against the people around them, viciously lunging forward.

What is this rhythm

The rugged dirt road transformed into a bumpy thoroughfare, and the bumpy thoroughfare evolved into an even smoother official road. Various groups of fugitives and wanderers converged like countless streams merging into a river, becoming increasingly numerous and crowded

The only remaining vitality and sound came from the sparse women standing by the roadside, who opened their withered hearts and, in a hoarse voice, solicited the passing crowd for their own beauty and bodies, merely in exchange for a bite to eat

A large crowd was seen ahead, stranded on the main road. As they became agitated, several mounted individuals and a group of armed personnel, wielding weapons, began to push a few large carts, driving the crowd away

But no matter how much I struggle, I still have to face reality

This fellow is over there

Digging out the charcoal from the ashes, wrap it up and kick it into the sleeve pocket. This substance, when ground into powder, can be used to ignite a fire, serve as a marker, temporarily treat wounds, or be utilized for camouflage and self-defense

Then I stuffed the excess items into a large tree hollow, sealed it with soil, and marked it. Taking into account the direction of the tree crown's growth and the position of the sun in the sky, I began to head north upstream along the river.

Fortunately, there has always been no shortage of sufficient prey on the main road, and so far, no one has regarded me as a potential target. However, when the first night fell, I, leaning against a tree, still dared not close my eyes and placed my spear beside me, within easy reach for a quick strike.

As long as there is a large sum of money, just take it away

still indulging in infidelity

Enough, it is already enough

Where is the dog that killed my brother... ...

These men are lean, yet their nutritional status is evidently much better, and they do not hesitate to exert themselves in a fight. I instinctively avoided them, but suddenly came to a halt.

I nearly took several steps back until I bumped into the earthen wall, feeling flustered as I pulled out a handful of roasted bird eggs and a few coins, hastily stuffing them into her hands. Then, half in disgust and half in shame, I turned and hurriedly left, leaving their shouts behind me.

I suddenly felt a surge of blood and, unable to contain my anger, grabbed a large piece of broken tile and hurled it towards those few people

The most aggressive individuals were each pointed at the head with a gun barrel and surrounded; they were mostly young and strong. Without looking back, I charged in fiercely.

After carving the forty-seventh mark on the tree, I, who had spent a whole night in a daze and felt my legs weak, finally emerged from this forest, which is not particularly large, onto an unnamed dirt road. The experiences of survival in the mountain forest at night were not as beautiful as those described by the later generations, who, with their sleeping bags and tents, liked to gather in the deep mountains.

Following the flow of people, during the midday hours, I finally encountered the first village. Unfortunately, I did not see the order and residents I had anticipated. The coins I had left, originally intended for gathering information and food, were rendered useless.

As someone who has become accustomed to a life of incessant online social consultations, with days and nights turned upside down, just one night of solitude can evoke a chilling sense of almost losing my sanity

I ran continuously across the vast open fields, traversing the trampled and chaotic ridges and ditches, crossing hills and thickets. I was amazed at how well I could run; the potential and quality of my body far exceeded my expectations... until...

All are those who, due to hunger and trekking, are covered in dirt and dust, with skin wrinkled and taut on their emaciated limbs, swaying in the wind, almost on the verge of being blown over, embodying a sense of frailty and helplessness

Eat less, and you can do anything... as long as you are given something to eat...

I can hardly wait to meet someone and exchange a few words with him... With such a complex and tumultuous mindset, I quickly traversed the desolate dirt road and soon encountered a graceful figure

Although I have just personally killed several people, I surprisingly feel no guilt, disgust, or aversion. The instincts within this body seem to have adapted to this way of survival, which involves taking the lives of others or having one's own life taken away. What remains is a profound sense of weariness and emptiness at the level of the soul

They passed through the fields and woods like locusts, leaving behind stripped trees with their white, hard cores exposed, reduced to bare branches and trunks, and the ground littered with clods of earth turned up along with the roots of the grass. Within their radius of activity, even the mice and snakes hidden deep underground found it difficult to escape, let alone certain weaker members of their own kind.

In a certain fragment of my hazy memory, amidst the tumult of war and the incessant calamities of this era, these refugees have become the most common sight on the streets and in the cities. At that time, however, I was seated in a comfortable carriage, driven forward by the hands of the royal coachman, observing all of this with a detached gaze, without ever truly experiencing what it meant to be one of them

The most common expressions are numbness and dullness, along with some groups of three to five men who appear relatively strong, dragging some women who look elderly, frail, or of a certain status to the roadside, never to be seen again.

The bundled grass sheaves were tied around the legs and waist, with cut strips of cloth haphazardly securing the hair. Leaves were used to protect the elbows and ankles, preventing further abrasions. A small folding knife was tied to the front of the walking stick, resulting in a makeshift self-defense weapon

The creature that charged out from the gray soil, howling, was met with a stick coming straight at it. It jumped up in a start, only to be struck squarely on the shin by the heavy end of the staff, resulting in a brittle crack that made it howl in pain while clutching its foot

Finally, there was an exceptionally loud voice

"Otherwise, it's fine if she comes too; this child is adaptable in any situation... as long as there is food..."

The lingering acrid smell in the air reveals the events that this village has endured

The only thing that could fill the stomach was a dozen or so burnt bird eggs, which I squeezed into my sleeve, and only when I truly felt I could not hold on any longer did I swallow one, feeling the sound of stomach acid churning within me

The remaining individuals suddenly roared and cursed like enraged bulls, rushing over in a frenzy. I retreated to the street corner, calmly picking up my cane.

Then, taking advantage of the crowd's cover, I rushed out from the other end, leaving them behind. I could even faintly hear the sounds of exclamations and curses carried by the wind.

Kill this dog thief

From the corner of the alley by the street, I heard continuous pleas for mercy and cries of despair, emanating from a small circle of several men.

I have also witnessed some solitary individuals, who, after a night of exhaustion, have turned into stripped corpses, mingled with those who, due to weakness and hunger, could no longer awaken. The darkness of night is sufficient to conceal too many evils and cruelties

The wretched slave of bad customs

The woman sat up like a spring, suddenly grabbing my pant leg, her voice hoarse as she pleaded.

The uneven ground, the ubiquitous mosquitoes and ants, along with the dampness of the earth and dew, cause one to toss and turn, resulting in backaches and poor sleep. Fortunately, I have not yet experienced any signs of illness such as headaches or nasal congestion

As for the cuffs and the hem of my robe, they have long been scraped and dragged into tattered strips like those of a beggar, yet I still feel a sense of joy and anticipation at returning to a world of humanity and enlightenment

If it is a matter of drifting with the current, this should be considered as the eastern direction slightly south of Luoyang. I only wish to find the next town, and then take the opportunity to clarify my own location and the era I am in, in order to plan my next steps. It would be best to find a means of transportation to return to Luoyang, even if it is a faint and slim hope. I still have some concerns that I cannot let go of until they are resolved.

Count me in